Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
