Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
my being single is dangerous.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
