I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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