I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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