Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
