I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
