we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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