you traded sex for a burrito?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
