its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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