I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize