im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
