So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
