I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
