STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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