This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Barsexuality is the new black.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
