i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
