Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
This house was built for laser tag.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
