So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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