lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
