It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
