Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
