she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
