Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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