Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
A+ Viking dick
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize