How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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