whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
