Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
