Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
