For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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