a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
