Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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