You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
