Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
