Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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