we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
