They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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