I don't think brook has ever known best
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
