dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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