girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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