He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
