found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
