I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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