just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
