Porn is love you can see.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
