I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
