can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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