worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
