I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
