So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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