I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
